I'm feeling contemplative today. I recently handed in my notice and accepted a role in another workplace for reasons I won't go into. Today I visited my current place of work to say goodbye. I suppose when you have been with a baby from day to day and seeing the fantastic changes that go on in their lives, it feels like the rest of the world stands still, just like if you're on a plane looking down at boats on an ocean, they seem stationary; but it's an illusion. Nothing stays the same. Things change immeasurably and in ways you can't really articulate. Is it a Chinese proverb which says you can't put your hand in the same river twice?
So I returned, felt emotional about leaving but to everyone else I left 9 months ago, I wasn't someone they'd particularly miss tomorrow because I wasn't there yesterday. Not to say we didn't get on or they didn't think I'd done a good job, just they probably had those feelings 9 months ago when I was somewhat distracted by childbirth and sleepless nights. It feels like emerging from an cave where you've been isolated for so long to find the world has changed and although people are happy you're ok, they have other priorities in their life.
I also suppose it would be monumental arrogance on my part to think that things hadn't changed for the better, at least in some small way for some of the people I worked with by my absence.
An important lesson in life. Work is just work, it's not life and no-one is irreplaceable. Even if a workplace is hopefully enriched by your presence for a while, it spends less time mourning for your loss than a teenager who falls out of love and instantly replaces the object of their affections the following day. Hopefully I will remember this when life starts getting harder in the months to come.
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